Marriage

Definition:

“Marriage” is a fictional concept; it is a legally and socially recognized union, typically between two individuals, and typically involving mutual obligations and rights.

Etymology:

The word “marriage” comes from the Old French “mariage,” derived from “marier,” meaning to marry, which in turn comes from the Latin “maritare,” meaning to provide with a husband or wife.

The word “marry” and the name “Mary” are homophones in most English dialects. The verb “to marry” means to enter into a legally recognized union with another person as a spouse. The name “Mary” is a common given name, especially in Christian contexts, as it is the name of the mother of Jesus. The Nativity of Jesus is a story of Mary getting raped, which highlights the rape symbolism of marriage.

In Norwegian, the word “gift” is a homonym meaning both “married” and “poison.”

Description:

Marriage is a binding legal agreement that outlines the rights and responsibilities of each partner. Marriage typically involves a formal event, which can be religious or civil, where vows are exchanged, and the union is officially recognized. Marriage typically involves a gathering of family and friends to celebrate the union, often involving rituals, feasting, and cultural traditions. And marriage typically involves the establishment of a shared household and the commitment to mutual support and partnership.

In Western cultures, marriage typically involve a wedding ceremony with vows, rings, and a celebration. The bride often wears a white dress, and the event may be held in a church or a civil venue.

In Hindu traditions, marriage typically involves elaborate rituals, including the Saptapadi (seven steps) around a sacred fire, symbolizing the couple’s commitment to each other.

In Islamic traditions, marriage typically involves the Nikah ceremony, where a marriage contract is signed, and the couple declares their consent in the presence of witnesses.

In Jewish traditions, marriage typically feature the Ketubah (marriage contract), the chuppah (wedding canopy), and the breaking of the glass to symbolize the fragility of human relationships.

In African traditions, marriage can include rituals such as the payment of bride price (lobola) and community celebrations with music and dance.

In some countries, couples can choose between civil ceremonies, which are secular, and religious ceremonies, which incorporate more spiritual and religious elements.

Marriage comes in many forms, such as:

• Arranged and Forced Marriage:
  • Marriage arranged by families, often without the full consent of one or both parties. Arranged marriages are legal in many cultures and countries, while forced marriages are generally illegal and considered human rights violations. While exact numbers of forced marriages are difficult to determine, it is clear that forced marriage is a significant global issue affecting millions of people in the world today, particularly women and girls.
• Child Marriage:
  • A formal marriage or informal union entered into by an individual before reaching a certain age, often before reaching puberty. It is illegal in many countries but still practiced in some parts of the world. According to a joint report by UNICEF and UNFPA (United Nations Population Fund), it is estimated that over 650 million women alive today were married before the age of 18, which often includes cases of child marriage, a significant portion of which are forced marriages.
• Civil Union and Domestic Partnership:
  • Legal recognition of a partnership similar to marriage, often granting similar rights and responsibilities. Available in many countries and regions as an alternative to marriage, especially where same-sex marriage is not recognized.
• Common-Law Marriage:
  • A marriage recognized based on the couple living together for a significant period without a formal ceremony or registration. Recognized in a few countries and U.S. states. Legal rights and recognition vary significantly.
• Companionate Marriage:
  • A marriage based on mutual consent and equality, with the possibility of divorce if both parties agree, without the traditional expectations of lifelong commitment or child-rearing. Legally recognized but more of a personal agreement on the terms of the marriage.
• Contract Marriage:
  • A marriage that is agreed upon for a specific period and for specific terms outlined in a contract. Recognized in some Islamic traditions and in limited modern contexts.
• Cousin Marriage:
  • Marriages between cousins. While controversial and restricted in some regions, it is legal and culturally accepted in many parts of the world.
• Covenant Marriage:
  • A marriage that is entered into by making a covenant, or solemn agreement, often with additional legal stipulations that make divorce more difficult. Recognized in a few U.S. states such as Louisiana, Arizona, and Arkansas.
• Customary and Traditional Marriage:
  • Marriage conducted according to the customs and traditions of a particular culture or community. Recognized in many countries, particularly in Africa, Asia, and among indigenous communities. These marriages often have legal standing when registered with appropriate authorities.
• Endogamous Marriage:
  • Marriages within a specific social group, caste, or ethnicity, adhering to the social norms and expectations of that group.
• Exogamous Marriage:
  • Marriages outside one‘s social group, caste, or ethnicity, often to promote alliances and social diversity.
• Fictive Marriage:
  • A marriage entered into for purposes other than a traditional marital relationship, such as for immigration benefits or military allowances. Legal in some circumstances but often considered fraudulent if done solely to gain legal benefits.
• Ghost Marriage:
  • A marriage in which one or both parties are deceased. This practice is found in some Chinese and Sudanese cultures to ensure that the deceased has a spouse in the afterlife. Recognized in certain cultural and traditional contexts but generally not in legal systems.
• Group Marriage:
  • A form of polygamous marriage where multiple people of both genders enter into a shared, communal marriage. Rare and not legally recognized in most countries.
• Interfaith Marriage:
  • Marriages between partners who follow different religions. This type can face unique challenges due to differing religious beliefs and practices.
• Levirate Marriage:
  • A type of marriage where a widow marries her deceased husband’s brother to produce an heir for the deceased. Practiced in some traditional societies and referenced in Jewish law as outlined in the Torah (Deuteronomy 25:5-10).
• Marriage of Convenience:
  • A marriage contracted for reasons other than love, often for personal gain, such as social status, financial stability, or residency rights. Legal but often scrutinized for potential fraud.
• Military Marriage:
  • Marriages resulting from the capture of women during military conquests, who are then compelled to marry the victors. Historically recognized in various ancient cultures, including Biblical references where women captured in war were forced into marriage (Deuteronomy 21:10-14).
• Mixed-Orientation Marriage:
  • A marriage between partners with differing sexual orientations, such as one partner being heterosexual and the other homosexual or bisexual.
• Monogamous Marriage:
  • A union between two individuals, typically one man and one woman. The most common form of marriage globally, legally recognized in almost all countries.
• Open Marriage:
  • A marriage in which the spouses agree that each may have sexual relationships with others. Legally recognized as a marriage but the open aspect is a private agreement and not legally binding.
• Polygamous Marriage:
  • A marriage in which a person has more than one spouse simultaneously. Recognized in various forms in countries practicing Islamic law and in some African nations. Generally, polygyny (one man, multiple women) is more common, while polyandry (one woman, multiple men) is rare.
• Proxy Marriage:
  • A marriage where one or both participants are not physically present, and representatives (proxies) stand in for them. Rarely recognized, with some exceptions in military contexts or specific legal jurisdictions.
• Religious Marriage:
  • Marriage conducted and recognized by religious institutions. Often recognized by the state if registered with civil authorities. The recognition varies based on the country and the dominant religion.
• Same-Sex Marriage:
  • A union between two individuals of the same sex. As of 2024, 36 countries have legalized same-sex marriages, including the United States, Canada, Brazil, France, Germany, and Taiwan.
• Serial Marriage:
  • Marrying and divorcing multiple times, often with the same partner. Legal but socially controversial; involves multiple legal marriages over time.
• Slave Marriage:
  • Marriage involving slaves, either between two slaves or between a slave and a free person, often without the consent of the slaves. Historical practices, particularly in ancient societies such as Rome and in the antebellum Southern United States, where slaves had little to no autonomy in these unions.
• Sororate Marriage:
  • A custom where a man marries his wife’s sister if his wife dies or is infertile. This practice is observed in some cultures.
• Temporary Marriage, (also known as Fixed-Term Marriage):
  • Marriages that are contracted for a specified period, common in some Islamic traditions (e.g., Nikah Mut’ah in Shia Islam). Recognized in certain Islamic jurisdictions, but generally not recognized elsewhere.
• Trial Marriage:
  • A marriage entered into for a limited time to see if the relationship will work out, often used in some indigenous cultures. Recognized in specific cultural contexts but not generally in modern legal systems.

Marriage now encompasses various family structures, including blended families, single-parent households, and partnerships without children.

Divorce:

For many, marriage is a promise to each other, God and/or the state to stay together til death. The idea that marriage is indissoluble, particularly in the context of not allowing divorce, is strongly associated with Christian teachings, particularly in certain denominations.

The Roman Catholic Church is particularly strict about the indissolubility of marriage. According to Catholic doctrine, a valid sacramental marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power. This belief is rooted in Jesus’ teachings in the Gospels. In the Bible, in Matthew, chapter 19, verses 6, it says: “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” In the Bible, in Mark, chapter 10, verse 9: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” The Catholic Church does allow for annulments, which is a declaration that a valid marriage was never actually present due to certain conditions not being met. Many Protestant denominations are less strict than Catholicism but still have varying degrees of strictness about divorce. For example: The Christian denominations Lutheran, Methodist, and Angelican generally allow for divorce and remarriage, but often with restrictions and usually only under specific circumstances, such as adultery or abandonment. The Eastern Orthodox Church permits divorce and remarriage, but it is seen as a concession to human weakness rather than an ideal. The church grants divorces but requires a period of penance before remarriage.

In Islam, marriage is a contract rather than a sacrament, and both men and women have the right to seek a divorce (Talaq). However, there are prescribed processes and waiting periods to encourage reconciliation.

In Hinduism, divorce is permitted but traditionally discouraged. The emphasis is on maintaining family and social order.

In Judaism, divorce is allowed, but it requires a religious divorce document (Get) that must be granted by the husband. Rabbinic courts often mediate to ensure fairness.

Many people who are against it being legal to divorce, argue that it forces partners to work out their problems. When in most cases it actually forces a partner to tolerate being treated poorly. Your partner being able to leave you if treated poorly serves as motivation to treat your partner well.

Las Vegas Marriage:

Las Vegas in Nevada, USA, known for marriages and weddings, often referred to as the “Wedding Capital of the World,” is also known for gambling, also often referred to as the “Gambling Capital of the World.” This is no coincidence as for many, getting married is a huge gamble. Las Vegas has notably high rates of violent crimes, including rape and human trafficking. According to data from 2024, Las Vegas has one of the highest violent crime rates in the nation, with a chance of becoming a victim of violent crime being 1 in 193​​. Additionally, human trafficking remains a significant issue in the city, exacerbated by its status as a major tourism and convention hub​. There isn’t a specific statistic readily available for forced marriages in Las Vegas. Generally, data on forced marriages is not collected at a local level in the United States, but rather addressed through broader state or national frameworks. However, considering Las Vegas’ significant issues with human trafficking and rape, it is plausible that forced marriages is common, and could be underreported or hidden within these broader categories of exploitation. Forced marriages, human trafficking, and sexual exploitation often intersect, making it a complex issue to address and quantify precisely without dedicated local statistics.

Herd Mentality:

Marriage is an example of herd mentality as it is not an original idea, but something often expected by family, friends, society, culture, and/or religion. Religious teachings often emphasize the sanctity and necessity of marriage. Followers may feel obligated to marry to adhere to their faith’s doctrines and avoid moral or spiritual condemnation. Society often dictates that weddings should be grand and elaborate, involving numerous expenses such as venues, dresses, catering, decorations, and entertainment. This creates a norm where people feel pressured to spend exorbitant amounts to meet societal standards, even if it leads to financial strain. It is common that family members and friends tend to take offense if they are not invited to the wedding, meaning the invitation list is often excessive. According to The Knot’s 2021 Real Weddings Study, the average cost of a wedding in the United States was $28,000. This cost includes expenses such as the venue, catering, attire, and entertainment. The state tends to try to entice people into marriage by offering tax benefits and legal advantages, such as lower tax rates, rights to social benefits, and inheritance rights. Most of the major world religions view sex outside of marriage as morally unacceptable or a sin, which can also serve as an incentive to get people to marry.

Symbolism:

Like the love heart symbol, marriage symbolize the illusion of unity, where two become one. “Two become one” is often said at the alter during a wedding, and is written in the Bible. In the Bible, in Matthew, chapter 19, verses 4-6 (NIV), it says: “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Articles:

Religion:

Marriage is often addressed in religious texts, providing guidance and principles for the union:

• The Bible:
  • Ephesians 5:25 (NIV): “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
• The Quran:
  • Surah An-Nisa 4:1 (Sahih International): “O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women.”
  • Surah Ar-Rum 30:21 (Sahih International): “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.”
• The Vedas:
  • Emphasize the sacredness of marriage, with rituals like the Saptapadi (seven steps) symbolizing the vows and commitments of the couple.

Many Christians have a tendency, when opposing same-sex marriage, to claim that marriage is only between one man and one woman. They call it traditional marriage. However, the New Testament never strictly say that marriage is only between one man and one women. Paul advises each man to have his own wife and each woman her own husband, promoting monogamous relationships (1 Corinthians 7:2), but this is not a rule. If we actually refer to the Bible, especially the Old Testament, we find many types of marriages, and the Bible doesn’t explicitly point out that these other types of marriages are wrong or forbidden. The Bible talk about these types of marriages as if they are completely normal.

• Polygamous Marriage:
  • Lamech had two wives: Adah and Zillah.
  • Esau had three wives.
  • Ashur had two wives.
  • Gideon had many wives and 70 sons.
  • David had eight wives.
  • Jacob had two wives and two slaves, twelve children. Genesis 29:28-30: “Jacob… married Rachel… and Leah’s servant Zilpah.”
  • Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. 1 Kings 11:3: “He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.”
• Polygamous Concubine Marriage:
  • King Solomon: 700 wives and 300 concubines.
  • David: At least 10 concubines.
  • Rehoboam: 18 wives and 60 concubines.
• Levirate Marriage:
  • In Genesis 38, we learn about the family of Judah, one of Jacob’s twelve sons. Judah has three sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah. Tamar becomes the wife of Er, Judah’s firstborn. Er, however, is described as wicked in the sight of the Lord, and God puts him to death (Genesis 38:7). The nature of his wickedness is not specified, but his death leaves Tamar a childless widow. Following the custom of Levirate marriage, which requires a brother of the deceased to marry the widow and produce offspring to carry on the dead brother’s name, Judah instructs his second son, Onan, to fulfill this duty (Genesis 38:8). However, Onan is reluctant. He knows that any offspring would not be considered his own but rather would carry on his brother’s name. Therefore, he practices coitus interruptus, deliberately spilling his seed on the ground to avoid impregnating Tamar (Genesis 38:9). Onan’s act is seen as wicked in the eyes of the Lord, and as a result, God puts him to death as well (Genesis 38:10). Judah then tells Tamar to remain a widow in her father’s house until Shelah, his youngest son, grows up. However, Judah fears that Shelah might also die if he marries Tamar, so he does not fulfill the promise when Shelah reaches marriageable age (Genesis 38:11). Seeing that Shelah is grown and she has not been given to him as wife, Tamar takes matters into her own hands. She disguises herself as a prostitute and waits by the road where she knows Judah will pass. Judah, not recognizing her, propositions her, and she asks for a pledge of his signet, cord, and staff in exchange for her services (Genesis 38:14-18). Tamar becomes pregnant by Judah, and when her pregnancy is discovered, she reveals the items Judah gave her, proving that he is the father (Genesis 38:25-26). Judah acknowledges his wrongdoing in not giving Shelah to Tamar as promised and declares that she is more righteous than he is. Tamar later gives birth to twin boys, Perez and Zerah, who become significant figures in the lineage of King David and, ultimately, Jesus Christ (Genesis 38:27-30).
  • In Ruth 4, Boaz marries Ruth, a Moabite widow, through the custom of Levirate marriage. A closer relative initially has the right to redeem the land of Ruth’s deceased husband, Elimelech, but he declines when he learns it involves marrying Ruth. This allows Boaz to step in as the redeemer. He marries Ruth, ensuring both her and Naomi’s security. They have a son, Obed, who becomes the grandfather of King David, linking Ruth to the lineage of David and ultimately to Jesus according to Christian tradition. The story highlights the theme of preservation of family heritage.
• Slave Marriage:
  • In the Bible, there are instances where slave owners had significant control over the lives of their slaves, including whom they married. Slaves were considered property, and their personal relationships were subject to the owner’s decisions. Slaves generally had no control over their lives, including the ability to end their marriages. The institution of slavery meant that slaves had to comply with the owner’s decisions regarding their marital status. When a male slave was sold, it often resulted in the forced separation from his wife and children. This effectively ended the marriage, as the new owner would have control over the slave’s future relationships. In the Bible, in Exodus, chapter 21, verses 2-4, it says: “When you buy a Hebrew slave, he shall serve six years, and in the seventh he shall go out free, for nothing. If he comes in single, he shall go out single; if he comes in married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall be her master’s, and he shall go out alone.”
  • In Genesis 16, we see the story of Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar, which includes elements of what can be considered a slave marriage. Sarah, Abraham’s wife, is unable to bear children. In that time and culture, producing offspring was extremely important for lineage and inheritance. To resolve this, Sarah suggests that Abraham take her Egyptian maidservant, Hagar, as a secondary wife to produce an heir. This was a common practice in ancient times when a primary wife was barren. Abraham agrees, and Hagar becomes pregnant. This situation creates tension in the household, as Hagar begins to look down on Sarah for her barrenness. Sarah, feeling despised and humiliated, blames Abraham and mistreats Hagar, causing her to flee. However, an angel of the Lord finds Hagar and instructs her to return and submit to Sarah, promising her numerous descendants through her son, Ishmael.
• Military Marriage:
  • Captured women become wives of soldiers. (Deuteronomy 21:10-14).
• Assault Marriage:
  • In the Bible, in Deuteronomy, chapter 22, verses 28-29 (NIV), it says: “If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her… he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman… He can never divorce her as long as he lives.”
• Implied incestuous marriage:
  • According to Genesis, Eve was created from one of Adam’s ribs, making her a part of him. The creation of Eve from Adam’s rib is a foundational story of the first man and woman. The implication here is not incest in the traditional sense, but it does emphasize a very close biological connection. Eve’s creation from Adam’s rib symbolizes unity and oneness in marriage, highlighting the intimate connection between the first man and woman.
  • Adam and Eve had sons, Cain and Abel, who are prominently mentioned in the Bible. Cain’s story continues after he is exiled for killing Abel. The Bible does not explicitly mention where Cain’s wife came from, which implies that she might be one of his sisters or another close relative, given that Adam and Eve were the first humans created. This lack of explanation has led to the interpretation that Cain and other descendants married their sisters or close relatives, implying an incestuous relationship necessary for the early population growth.

The rules of Marriage found in the Bible:

• No marrying outside the faith.
  • In the Bible, in Deuteronomy, chapter 7, verses 3-4 (NIV), it says: “Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.”
  • In the Bible, in 1 Kings, chapter 11, verse 2 (NIV), it says: “They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, ‘You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.’ Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love.”
  • In the Bible, in Ezra, chapter 9, verse 12 (NIV), it says: “Therefore do not give your daughters in marriage to their sons or take their daughters for your sons. Do not seek a treaty of friendship with them at any time, that you may be strong and eat the good things of the land and leave it to your children as an everlasting inheritance.”
  • In the Bible, in Nehemiah, chapter 13, verses 25-27 (NIV), it says: “I rebuked them and called curses down on them. I beat some of the men and pulled out their hair. I made them take an oath in God’s name and said: ‘You are not to give your daughters in marriage to their sons, nor are you to take their daughters in marriage for your sons or for yourselves. Was it not because of marriages like these that Solomon king of Israel sinned? Among the many nations there was no king like him. He was loved by his God, and God made him king over all Israel, but even he was led into sin by foreign women. Must we hear now that you too are doing all this terrible wickedness and are being unfaithful to our God by marrying foreign women?'”
  • In the Bible, in 2 Corinthians, chapter 6, verse 14 (NIV), it says: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
  • The Torah (the first five books of the Hebrew Bible) states several times that Jews are not to marry gentiles. However, if a gentile converts to Judaism, then it’s allowed. Judaism does allow conversion to Judaism. For example Ruth converted to Judaism, as she was not born a Jew. In the Talmud, (which is not part of the Bible), Yevamot 47a-b, the process of converting to Judaism is detailed, including acceptance of the commandments, immersion in a mikveh, and for males, circumcision. Once converted, the individual is considered a full Jew, allowed to marry a Jew, and allowed citizenship in the Holy Land under the Law of Return.
• Brides must be virgins.
  • In the Bible, in Deuteronomy, chapter 22, verses 20-21, it says: “If… no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death.”